Computer Scam Phone Caller Fun

I just contracted the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre to report one of those "Microsoft" telephone scams. Here's what I wrote to the CAFC explaining the call, which I decided to have fun with. (Which I do not recommend, as it's best not to mess with even these idiots.)

At 1:20 I got a call from a supposed Microsoft employee, claiming that my computer has been hacked and malware has been placed on my computer, and that I get on my computer to help him fix the problem. My phone was dying so I hung up and switched phones. The person called back at 1:22 and seemed upset that I hung up in his face. I actually told him the truth; that my phone had died. He assumed I was from the U.S. (which I verified; a lie) and claimed that someone from Vancouver had hacked my computer. He asked me to find the "c-t-r-l" key [yes, he spelled it out] on my keyboard and asked me what key was next to it. I replied that my space bar was next to the "c-t-r-l" [yes, I spelled it out] key (a lie). He asked what other keys there were and I replied that that the "c-t-r-l" key and the space bar were the only two keys on my keyboard. At first he thought this was odd, then he thought I was joking with him. I said it was a special keyboard. Then he said something I did not understand - aside from two words ("fuck you") - and hung up. The person's accent (from what little I know) sounded African. I then had a VERY hardy laugh. But we have had calls like this on numerous occasions in the past. Usually we just hang up but this is the first time we've reported a call. (It's impossible to get through to the CAFC via telephone.)

I truly did LLOL!* And it truly was a hardy laugh!

* ("Literally laugh-out-loud!" With misuse and overuse, "LOL" has become obsolete.)

Anyhoo...